I have been really suffering since early June. That's four months and I'm not getting much better. I haven't been unstable for this long in years. Like maybe 7 years, back when I was going through my divorce. Back when I was sometimes noncompliant with taking my meds regularly.
I have battle fatigue, I think. I'm not getting worse, but it FEELS worse because it's been dragging on for so long. Plus, I don't have much hope because, 1) being depressed means being hopeless, and 2) I have zero confidence in the agency that's managing my medications.
Meanwhile, I am doing everything I can to take care of myself, even though I want to give up. I am trying to interact with other human beings. It's painful at times. I get so overwhelmed and overstimulated. Hiding is easier. I am so exhausted all the time, and trying to engage with people takes more energy than I have.
I worry that all my negative posts on Facebook will turn people off. Maybe I shouldn't post at all. But I need support, and I get comments and messages that honestly help. So I guess I'll keep posting when I feel like I need some feedback.
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