Memory problems

Yesterday I got lost trying to find my therapist's office (Bridgeway). I've gone to that place off and on for well over a decade. I get now why the doctor told me not to drive for a week after my last treatment. Eh, I'll still be noncompliant on that front, but I will limit it as much as I find acceptable.

Apparently I signed a petition complaining about the food in the hospital. I don't remember anything about that.

I talked to the benefits coordinator 6 times and only remember 2 of those conversations.

Soni says I would call her 5 times a day from the hospital and say the same things over and over. I thought I was calling once a day.

The other patients were good natured about it. T kidded me a lot. He was a good buddy. He used to work at the Tallahassee Democrat, so we bonded over that. I really wish him well. I wonder if he's out yet? Maybe I should call and ask, go visit him tomorrow night. It's gets awfully boring in there.

Also yesterday I visited the Mental Health Association to see if I could volunteer, get some structure in my life. I was honest about the fact that I'm still recovering. So the woman I talked to suggested I participate in some events for a while until I feel steadier, then volunteer. We did come up with some projects that we were both enthusiastic about, so I hope it all works out.

Later in the day was when I got lost on the way to see my therapist. I had a funny story for her. I told her that when my social worker at the hospital asked who my therapist was, I couldn't remember her name but said she was the Bridgeway therapist who looked like Catherine Zeta Jones, only more tan. She cracked up over that, and seemed to appreciate the comparison.

As we got into the session, it got kinda heavy. I was crying by the time I left. Basically we were discussing disability vs. working vs. pursuing a Ph.D. I'm so confused. So uncertain of my abilities.

Therapist thinks I'm way to smart to abandon my dreams of working and/or furthering my education. I just feel so very shaken by the last few months.

I was actually a bit manic yesterday (have I said that already?).

Last night I calmed down, and today I feel fine. Still confused, but level moodwise and functional. Transcribing my journal and writing more is helping me process stuff.